Found Face Fiction

Hello my fellow friends, my name is Geoffry. You may not know this but I am slowly eating your planet, one pebble and shoe at a time.You may be asking why I am doing this. This may come as a surprise to you but this is my job. This job has been in my family for many, many years. I am actually from a long line of gravel eaters. Both my father and his father were eating gravel and rocks at the dawn of time. This isn't all I do with my time, if that's what you're thinking. I also collect shiny rocks, stamps and shoes; but only the left shoes. I only collect the left shoes because I have two left feet underneath all of this dirt. What? You can't tell? How could you not? It is super noticeable, just look under the dirt with your X-Ray vision goggles. What? What did you say? Those don't work? Oh, well then. Any way, I really like to people watch and go shopping online. I know, I know, its a bad habit to make cause I know I have, like, seven of Justin Bieber's hair brushes I got off a thing you call Ebay. One thing I am really good at is doing magic tricks. I once did this trick where I made an entire banana disappear!!! What not impressed? Well, I found it very cool myself. Hmph. Well this may impress you, I can untie and retie shoe laces from 100 feet away! Huh, what do you think about that? It's a little talent of mine you could say. I have always been able to tie shoes and knots in general. What? Still not impressed? Fine, I see how it is. You don't have to be rude and just make fun of me. Go away. I'm done talking to you. Go away! I have to get back to work of slowly eating your planet.